With the holidays coming up, here is some advice for caregivers and Autistic people to help make things less stressful. You can get a copy of the transcript to share these tips with others if you want.
Caregivers want the best for their Autistic loved ones during the holidays. This year has been especially hard for many Autistic people, with upsetting news and decisions from leaders. Many Autistics are feeling overwhelmed and stressed. If your Autistic loved one wants to spend time alone this holiday, talk to them about how to support their need for a safe space. If they want to join you or be with others, spend time together and invite them to talk about their special interests. If they don’t want to talk about recent events, respect their wishes. If they prefer their own comfort foods instead of traditional holiday foods, let them know that that’s okay. If someone in your family brings up beliefs about Autism that are hurtful, try to change the subject to keep things calm. If your Autistic loved one needs a break or wants to leave a busy area, let them do so without judging them. Please don’t talk about your Autistic loved one as if they can’t hear you—they notice. Leaving a crowded place is not being rude; it’s their way to take care of themselves. Let them fidget, stim, and have quite time if they need it.
Many Autistic people don’t like surprise gifts. Ask them what they would like, tell them your budget, and listen to their choices. Many Autistic people cannot answer open ended questions. If they can’t think of a gift they want, offer them a few options. If they ask for clothing, remember that there may be textures they cannot wear. A wool woven sweater may look beautiful to you, but they can feel like wearing sand paper for many Autistic individuals. You could also ask them if they’d like a donation to an Autistic organization in their name made as your holiday gift to them. If your Autistic loved one isn’t enjoying the holidays, your experience might be less fun too.
For Autistic people, remember you have the right to set boundaries during the holidays. Make note cards or a list of your boundaries to share with others. You can make a “Do Not Disturb” sign for your safe space. If someone upsets you by gaslighting you at a holiday dinner, it’s okay to leave the table and take your plate somewhere else. Have a backup plan in case you need to leave. If you want to talk about tough topics, you can prepare notes on your phone to help. If you are visiting someone else’s home, ask for a quiet safe space room you can use if needed.
If you want more holiday tips about self-care during the holidays, please click on this link for Autistic Self-Care Toolkit created by The Autism Society of Minnesota.
